Ever been just on the edge of something new? Of knowing that your life is about to take a drastic turn and there isn't much you can do about it? Maybe it's something you have been waiting for or maybe it's something you have been dreading but you know that when it happens, life will never be the same. Maybe you have been able to try to prepare yourself emotionally for it, and you can imagine how you will feel or react but really we never know how a situation will affect us until we are right smack dab in the middle of it.
That's me right now...I am days away from signing, what could be the most important papers I will ever sign. Ones I never thought I would have to sign. I spent so many years thinking I was immune, protected, safe from what I feared most in life. But when it came knocking at my door, yes, it took me for a loop...a long, difficult, worst-thing-to-ever-happen-in-life sort of loop but somehow I survived and I am so close to being on the other side, not unscathed or without scars but still standing. Why? Well, probably because I have had an amazing group of people who stood beside me, held me up when I fell, wiped my tears and help pull up my boot straps when I was ready to give up. They have loved me when I felt unlovable and have always allowed me to keep my respect and dignity in a world that sometimes forgets that people make mistakes and don't always get what they deserve. And most importantly, I have a God who loves me beyond what I could possibly imagine or fathom and has shown me this over and over and over again. He has disciplined me, blessed me, held me, never left me~~all because, He undeniably, loves me!!!
So, as the day approaches that I go from being separated for almost the past 3 years to officially divorced, it is with great sadness, disappointment, relief, hope, trust, fear, wondering, and a million other mixed emotions that I look towards the future, knowing that "...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope, does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who He has given us." Romans 5:3-5
Friday, January 26, 2007
A Very Open and Honest Post
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10 comments:
I'm sorry Jennie, I can't imagine how hard that must be.
How wonderful to belong to the body of Christ, to loves and supports.
Now I have one more reason to think of you and lift you up.
I'm sorry about last night for you in two ways.
I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. But God is faithful and He'll see you through.
You are a brave woman and I'm sure God has wonderful plans for your future!
A little quote I read:
"Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand."
~ Ira F. Stamphill
Even though I don't know you or your your story, it seems fair to say that you are a courageous women with the hope and reassurance that God will get you through!!
Jennie, your faith walk with your Heavenly Father has been an inspiration to me over the last years. You are amazing!
Through this situation, you have made me want to be a better Christian, a better woman and a better friend. You have handled yourself with dignity, strength, courage, wisdom and a few allowable outbursts. :) You are an amazing person, Jennie. You should be proud of how you've made it through. I love you and am glad to see you get some closure and allow yourself to move on.
Much love, many cyber hugs and prayers sent to you from me. I can't imagine what you are going through but God is SO faithful and reading your blog, I can sense you are a very strong gal. Keeping you close in prayer.
Wow, thanks to you all!! I sure feel extra loved through Blog Land today!!! :)
Jennie, I understand exactly how you feel! This is a brand new chapter in your life and it does get better with time. Being alone for 6 years has taught me much patientence. And yes! good things come to those who wait! Im proof. I would never look back on my divorce with any regrets- I have a beautiful Son and am much stronger now.. take care.
I'm sorry to hear that you have to go through such pain.
The Lord is faithful and will continue to carry you as he always has. I can tell by reading your blog that you are a very strong and couragious woman. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. As Rachel said it well, God does have wonderful plans for your future!
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